Fondest Wish
by Nate Grey
Summary: Sarada Uchiha was always deeply disturbed by the fact that she looked nothing like her mother Sakura. She has yet to learn that being deeply disturbed is the way of her clan.


**Notes:** I simply cannot and will not quietly accept that Sakura has a daughter who looks exactly like the only other woman in Sasuke's life. And I don't think Kishimoto intended for us to.

**Summary:** Sarada Uchiha was always deeply disturbed by the fact that she looked nothing like her mother Sakura. She has yet to learn that being deeply disturbed is the essence of her clan.

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><p><strong>Fondest Wish<strong>

**A Naruto Fanfic by**

**Nate Grey (xman0123-at-aol-dot-com)**

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><p>"Hi! I'm Himawari! What's your name?"<p>

The black-haired girl looked up from her book to find one of her new female classmates beaming down at her. She noticed the whiskers right away, and became wary, though not for the expected reason. "...Sarada."

Himawari's smile widened. "That's a great name! Let's be friends!" She stuck her hand in Sarada's face, obviously wanting a handshake.

Sarada observed the happy girl for a long moment, then slowly grasped her hand, shook it up and down only once, and quickly let go.

Himawari did not seem to realize that perhaps she should be offended, and plopped down beside Sarada, without invitation, and far closer than Sarada would have preferred. "I'm waiting for my brother! I'll wait with you, okay?"

Sarada frowned and raised her book in front of her face, hoping Himawari would take the hint. Because apparently Sarada sitting far away from the other children to wait for her mother to pick her up hadn't been enough of a clue for Himawari.

"Have you made a new friend, Himawari?" asked a soft, pleasant voice behind them.

Himawari jumped up and flung herself at a woman who seemed well-prepared for the near-violent act. "Kaa-chan! Meet Sarada-chan!"

Sarada sighed, put her book down, and stood up to offer a respectful bow. "Greetings, Uzumaki-sama. I am Uchiha Sarada."

The woman smiled. "Ah, Sakura's girl. It's nice to meet you. I am Uzumaki Hinata."

Sarada blinked, not having expected that. "You... know my mother?"

"We have some friends in common," Hinata replied, a very polite way of saying, of course, that she and Sakura were not friends themselves. It was a subtle difference, but one that Sarada picked up on. She was really hoping that Hinata would keep Himawari away as a result, but it didn't seem to be working.

"Kaa-chan, can Sarada-chan come over and play?" Himawari asked excitedly.

"I can't," Sarada said quickly. "My mother and I have plans." She glanced around, and was fortunate enough to spot her mother fast approaching. "There she is now." She all but ran to plant herself at Sakura's side, offering no greeting other than to clamp onto her mother's hand for safety.

"Sarada! Sorry I'm a little late," Sakura apologized, then paused as she realized who Sarada had been standing with. "Oh. Hi, Hinata. There isn't a problem, is there?"

Sarada was struck by how worried her mother seemed. It made Sarada feel uneasy. She wasn't sure why Sakura would associate Hinata's presence with troubling news.

"No, nothing's wrong, Sakura," Hinata said quickly. "Himawari was just introducing me to Sarada. Apparently, our girls have become fast friends."

"Sakura-san, can Sarada-chan come over and play with me soon?" Himawari asked at once.

Sakura glanced at Sarada, who was purposely keeping her expression as blank as possible. "Well... I suppose it's something we can discuss a little later, Himawari-chan. Perhaps you and your mother can come over for tea one day."

"We're not busy now, right, kaa-chan?" Himawari asked, tugging on Hinata's sleeve.

"There is always time to make new friends, Himawari, but you must also allow them time to prepare for visitors," Hinata responded. "Shall we say tomorrow, after the academy ends for the day?"

"That would be... better," Sakura sighed, seeing no way out.

"See you then, Sarada-chan!" Himawari shouted as Hinata practically dragged her away.

"This is why I only want one friend," Sarada complained. "If they're all this much work, forget about it."

"If you only have one friend, it should be her," Sakura said firmly.

"Why?" Sarada asked.

"She's the Hokage's daughter. Knowing her comes with a certain sense of security that you may need one day. Anyway, she picked you, and you should always acknowledge when that happens. Never be the type of person that fails to respond to someone else's feelings."

"Even if I don't like the someone else?"

"Especially then. How would you feel if you spent your life chasing someone who didn't want to be chased, knowing they simply could have told you that up front and saved you years of pointless frustration?"

Before Sarada could answer, Hinata and Himawari reappeared, this time accompanied by a boy who seemed to be even louder and more cheerful than Himawari. Sarada had noticed him earlier, because he was, in her mind, the most gorgeous person she had ever seen. This association with Himawari, then, was troubling. "Kaa-san, why is that boy with them?"

Sakura blinked. "Why shouldn't he be? Bolt is Himawari's brother."

Sarada recoiled at the very thought. She might have to deal with Himawari every time she wanted to see her future husband. Truly a revolting thought. But, if Bolt's family approved of her, then surely Bolt would have to accept her. Yes, it was a perfect plan. Pasting an overly bright smile on her face, Sarada moved to intercept them, planning to invite Bolt along for tea as well.

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><p>Sarada noticed it in on her first day at the ninja academy. Nearly all of the children were accompanied by their parents, or someone who was otherwise obviously related to them. Even if they were not standing next to each other, it was easy to match the child with the guardian in most cases.<p>

Two different teachers asked Sarada if she was there alone.

It had happened before, of course. In the market district, at the park, and at the library. But this was the very first time that Sarada really had a basis for comparison, and so many examples to choose from. And there was simply no way to avoid the fact that Sarada looked absolutely nothing like her mother Sakura.

It hadn't concerned her until then, as Sarada obviously inherited her father's hair color, and most people knew she was an Uchiha, even when she wasn't wearing the clan crest. The problem was, her father was rarely around, so Sarada usually accompanied her mother. And unless they were holding hands, which Sarada was gradually becoming, in her mind, too mature for, people generally did not assume they were related at all. And even people who knew they were together still assumed that Sakura was an unrelated babysitter, which was even worse than the hand-holding.

Sakura tolerated it well enough, but Sarada was deeply disturbed by the mistaken identity. She was proud to be a member of her clan, but she wished that people would identify Sakura as a member, as well. Still, it was easy to understand why they didn't. Sarada had seen no evidence that her parents were ever married, and plenty that strongly implied that her father would never be the marrying type. Her mother owned nothing that bore the Uchiha crest: everything that did either belonged to Sarada or her father.

Sarada did not dare to ask her mother about this. She was sure the answer would be painful for one, or more likely, both of them.

It made interacting with Himawari and Bolt, who each looked exactly like one of their parents, tense and uncomfortable. There was no mistaking that Sarada was fond of them both, to varying degrees. But while she was with them, she would still experience frequent jolts of jealousy and anger, all over something that none of them could control. Himawari managed to overlook this, but Bolt was unusually sensitive about it, and tended to use it as an excuse to keep his distance.

Sakura did her best to reassure Sarada, but it never took for long. And no matter how many times Sakura caught Sarada at the kitchen sink with a bottle of pink hair dye, she could never bring herself to say, "It's okay that you don't look like me." Rather, she could only say, "You're fine the way you are." Sarada knew that much was true in Sakura's eyes. But it was everyone else's eyes that truly bothered her. Including her own.

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><p>Every night that they were both in the village, Sakura tucked her daughter into bed, told her a story, and kissed her goodnight. They were both aware that Sarada was widely considered too old for that after a certain point, but neither of them suggested that their tradition should end.<p>

Sakura enjoyed their closeness, treasured it, really, and knew several of her friends who envied that connection. Sarada, as a rule, was close to no one else. The only friend she ever brought over to play was Himawari, and even then, Sakura wasn't sure they were actually friends. Mostly, the two girls talked about Bolt, or rather, Himawari talked and Sarada listened intently. Bolt had never set foot in their house, despite constant encouragement. Sarada seemed to make him uneasy, and not in the hoped-for boy-likes-girl-but-doesn't-know-how-to-show-it way. More of the help-this-crazy-stalker-has-me-cornered way. Sarada remained blissfully unaware of this despite her considerable intelligence, and continued to operate under the assumption that she would marry Bolt one day.

Sarada was not bothered by her lack of friends. She seemed to prefer it, frankly. Himawari could always be depended on for pleasant conversation, and Sarada knew enough people in her age group well enough where she could wear them down and force them to converse, if the mood struck her. It was almost sad, people seemed to expect that Uchiha would be naturally unpleasant, so even when Sarada was cordial, it was accepted with a certain level of tension.

In the end, all Sakura could do was give Sarada all the love she had, and for a long time, that was enough. Sarada seemed content if not happy, and frequently gave Sakura hugs and kisses that had nothing to do with what was happening around them at the time. So if nothing else, Sakura was certain that Sarada loved her in return.

It all came to an end on the evening of Sarada's sixteenth birthday. As always, Sarada had requested a quiet celebration at home. Himawari and Hinata came over with gifts, and while Naruto had been away from the village at the time, he had the Raikage's personal tailor design a gorgeous kimono for Sarada.

Sarada's first words, having been sixteen for a little over a day, were earth-shattering.

"Sakura-san, I'm not your daughter."

Sakura frowned at her. "What are you saying, you silly girl? Of course you're my daughter."

Sarada shook her head slowly. "No. I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I didn't wish to cause you pain. Though we are are not connected by blood, you are the only mother I know, and I do love you. But this cannot be avoided any longer, and when things began to change, they will likely do so at a speed that will make discussing this then... more difficult."

Sakura wasn't sure what to think. Clearly, Sarada was not joking. Not that she joked often or well. She simply was not a humorous person, and accepted this with a remarkable amount of calm and grace. Which was part of why she was not funny at all.

"Allow me to explain," Sarada continued. "At some point, my father placed you under genjutsu. I am not certain if he has to reapply it repeatedly, or if it can only be broken by him. I only know that my own Sharingan cannot dispell it."

"Then you've tried to undo it," Sakura murmured.

Sarada frowned at her. "Of course. I just told you, I love you."

"Then why would you ever want me to think that you were not my daughter?"

"Because it's the truth!"

"I think I'd rather have the lie."

Sarada hesitated. "Sakura-san... kaa-san, I..."

"No." Sakura brushed the tears from her eyes. "If you wanted to keep calling me that, you shouldn't have said anything. It's too late now. I want to know everything that you do, so keep talking."

"That is everything, mostly. You probably know more about my birth mother than I do."

"Who... is she? What's her name?"

"Karin. That's all I know."

Sakura bit her lip hard enough to draw blood. "I see..."

Sarada looked at her with concern. "Is that bad? Is she a criminal or something?"

"Not... exactly," Sakura murmured. "She was one of your father's accomplices, after he defeated Orochimaru. But because she saved the Godaime Hokage's life, her crimes were pardoned, for the most part. She was free to leave last I heard, and I guess she did. I don't know what happened to her after that, or where she is. I do know that she loved your father, at least."

"Do you hate her?"

"No. We saved each other. I healed her when she was mortally wounded, and she warned me when... your father nearly killed me. I was grateful, but also sad, because she had been used by him, and she easily could have been me, in another life. It wouldn't make any sense, to hate her simply for loving him. I couldn't stop, so why should she have?"

"For what it's worth, I don't think she had any part in this. I hope not, anyway."

"I doubt that, too. I don't know much about her, but genjutsu didn't seem to be her specialty, whatever it was. And in any case, I don't think she would do something so cruel. Not to someone that she could see herself in. Not to her own child. Still, I think she would trust me to look after you, if she did have a choice. So I would forgive her, because I got to have you."

Sarada paled. "Sakura-san, I'm sorry. I thought you needed to know. Deserved to know. I don't want you to hate me, but I couldn't let you stay as you were. Even if you were happier that way, it wasn't real."

"I have memories. Of being intimate with your father, being pregnant with you, giving birth to you. And even if every single one of them is an illusion... they're mine, and I choose to treasure them. I wouldn't let you take them from me, even if you knew how."

"But-"

"No, Sarada. If you truly love me, then leave it alone."

"I do, Sakura-san. I really, really do. I just wanted to save you. Whatever my father's reasons for doing this to you, I don't think they were good ones. And I think you would have been badly hurt, physically or otherwise, in the end. I couldn't let that happen. Can't you understand? You're so precious to me, and I-"

Sakura reached out and folded Sarada into her arms. "You don't need to say anything else. And please, stop calling me by my name. There's just no way we could explain it to anyone, and I don't like it."

"Then... I can still be your daughter? You'll let me?"

"What choice do I have? These false memories that I'm a prisoner of all tell me that you are. If I can't deny them, then I can't deny you. And I don't want to, Sarada. Even if Karin were standing here with us, you would still be my child."

"I think she'll come back one day. If not for me, then for my father. What then?"

"Then? We'll have tea and talk things over calmly, I suppose. That should be possible, no matter what. We both love you, I'm sure."

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><p>An hour later, when Sarada was supposed to be in bed, she was escorted into the Hokage's office by a hawk-masked ANBU. If Sarada was surprised to see that the Hokage was in fact there, and not in the Land of Lightning as he was scheduled to be, she hid it well.<p>

Uzumaki Naruto's gaze locked on Sarada as she walked in. "So, how did it go?"

"About as you expected, Hokage-sama," Sarada replied. "But I still don't understand. Why have you taken no action on this matter?"

"Who says I haven't?" Naruto asked mildly. "Sakura and Sasuke are my best friends. Do you really think I wouldn't do anything about something that involves them both? That I don't care what happens to you?"

"No, I don't think that. But my father is clearly a security risk, and yet you haven't imprisoned or interrogated me, or Sakura-san. Why?"

Naruto leaned back in his chair. "I learned a long time ago that nothing is ever as straightforward as it seems in the ninja world. You're right, I could easily have you imprisoned, interrogated, tortured, even executed if I felt the need. But I promised myself that I would never be the kind of Hokage that could sacrifice someone that I could save with a little more effort. Maybe you don't need me to save you, but I'm not ready to sacrifice you, Sakura, or Sasuke yet. When I am, you'll be the first to know, Sarada-chan."

"I see," Sarada said softly. "Well, I told Sakura-san everything, as you requested. May I go?"

Naruto grinned. "Not just yet. I have a birthday present for you."

"Ah. The kimono was very pretty. I appreciate your generosity, Hokage-sama."

"That was mostly for show. My real present is much better." He gestured to the ANBU standing silently near the door. "I wasn't being entirely truthful earlier. You should know that I'm going to have you tailed from now on, but you will be allowed to interact with the ANBU shadowing you. In fact, I think you two should get to know each other, so you can borrow my office for a while. Don't stay too late, though."

Sarada frowned as Naruto stood up and left the office. The ANBU didn't move at first, and merely continued to stare at Sarada for several minutes.

"I really don't understand that man," Sarada said at last.

"You're hardly the first to admit that," the ANBU told her. "I doubt you'll be the last. But you can and should trust him."

"How do you know that?" Sarada asked sharply.

"Because when I first came to him about this," the ANBU said, reaching up to remove her hawk mask, "he promised that he would let me see you whenever I wanted."

Sarada gasped sharply as the face behind the mask was revealed. She recognized it instantly, mostly because it was far too much like her own to be a coincidence. "I-I don't understand. You've been here the whole time?"

"Only a few weeks," Karin replied, offering the mask to Sarada. "I've been away for a long time. Most of your life. There is so much that I need to tell you."

Sarada shook her head. "There are only two things I need to know. Did you want me, and why you left me?"

"What I wanted was for my daughter to have what I never had: the safety and security to grow up happy. Konoha was the only place you could do that, but the best way was for everyone to think that practically anyone else was your mother. Sakura was the obvious choice. She was the only other woman that would still have anything to do with your father. And frankly, she was the only one who I could trust to be good to you even after she knew the truth. But your father had other plans. He was supposed to make everyone think you were Sakura's daughter. Instead, he only made you and Sakura think it. Those looks you get from people aren't because you're an Uchiha. They're because you're the daughter of two former but fairly famous criminals, who are taking advantage of a once promising apprentice to a Hokage, who was too hopelessly in love to know any better."

Sarada shook her head. "But that makes no sense. Why would he want us to be outcasts?"

"I can't tell you how or what he thinks. Perhaps he plans to take you away from here one day, and that's more easily done if fewer people will miss you. That wouldn't explain Sakura, however, since he's made it clear he wants next to nothing to do with her. But he has never been above using her, or any other woman, to get what he wants."

"Maybe you're lying to me," Sarada murmured. "I know nothing about you. It would be easy."

"It would be," Karin agreed. "So if you can't trust me, trust the Hokage who could easily have treated our family horribly because of this, but didn't. He certainly wouldn't be the first Hokage who had turned his back on us. In some ways, he's the only one who hasn't yet."

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><p>The following morning, Sarada gained a new respect, and fear, for her father's talents.<p>

Sakura gave no sign that she recalled their last conversation. At first, Sarada assumed that she was merely trying to forget the unpleasantness. But it soon became clear that Sakura actually _had_ forgotten. It was as if the conversation had never taken place. And never would take place, Karin later explained, at least as far as Sakura's memory was concerned. Sasuke's genjutsu was thorough if nothing else.

And Sarada finally realized the awful truth. It didn't matter that she looked nothing like Sakura, or that she had at last found her birth mother in Karin. It wouldn't matter if Sarada decided she wanted nothing to do with Sakura, and left village. It likely wouldn't even matter if Sarada died before Sakura.

As long as Sakura lived, she would be Sarada's mother. Sarada could only hope that it had genuinely been Sakura, and not the genjutsu talking when she claimed to love the idea of being Sarada's mother.

Because it was clear now that either way, Sakura had no choice in the matter.

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><p>Endnotes:<p>

I'm not going to argue about whether or not the kid names are spelled properly. You should easily be able to tell who I'm referring to simply by context clues. The spellings I use are the ones I've accepted as most likely, if not correct. I'm sorry, but if _Boruto_ and _Salada_ are accurate, then it is _so_ good that this series is ending.

Rant/Reasons Why We Should All Be Suspicious:

1) Sarada looks exactly like a mixture of Sasuke and Karin. I have no doubt this was intentional, all the kids introduced in chapter 700 were clearly modeled after one or both parents for easy indentification purposes.

2) Sarada looks _nothing_ like Sakura. Also likely intentional. Nobody in Sakura's family has black hair. Or glasses. And yet vision problems and black hair could both easily be inherited by Sarada without Sakura being in the genetic picture.

3) Karin doesn't appear at all in chapter 700. Yet nobody who seriously crushes on Sasuke ever really stops. And before you say Ino, _don't_: she has proven repeatedly that she will never get over Sasuke, married the guy who _most resembles Sasuke_, and has one of the creepiest-looking kids I have ever seen as a result. If that's not hopeless love, I don't know what is. Anyway, maybe Karin is the mystery person stalking Sasuke in the woods, and has been stalking him the whole time... same way Sarada stalks Bolt.

4) Sasuke is just bastard enough to pull this off. He's tried to kill everyone close to him at least once, has stated that Naruto is his only friend and yet admitted that he might betray him again, and is known for grossly mistreating women close to him. And Sakura is known for falling for this gross mistreatment over and over again, so she's probably the only one Sasuke could do this to. He certainly wouldn't do it to Karin and risk having pink-haired kids.

5) It's pretty hard to restore a whole clan with only one kid. And Sasuke has been wandering outside of the village for years. So he has either been spreading his seed, or is extremely optimistic about Sarada having tons of kids. And Sasuke has been delusional, but _never_ extremely optimistic.

6) Kishimoto has already shown us that Sakura has zero defense against Sasuke's genjutsu. Likewise, Naruto has proven weak against Itachi's genjutsu (I have _never_ seen Naruto use _any_ genjutsu, so that's not surprising), so if we accept that Sasuke has surpassed Itachi (and with a Rinnegan, that's a pretty safe bet), there is no one I can think of that has a decent defense or counter against Sasuke's genjutsu. So if Sasuke did decide to do this to Sakura, no one could stop him. Because every truly mad Uchiha seems to have an equally mad best friend strong enough to kill them, but dense enough not to.

7) I've tried to find some hidden meaning behind Sasuke giving Sakura the finger poke in chapter 699. Only two things make any sense to me. Either this is when he applies the genjutsu... or he thinks of Sakura as a little brother. Which actually explains more than I care to admit.


End file.
